How my mom failed

I attended a high school-graduation party yesterday and it brought back memories of my first foray into college life. First, I home schooled k-12. Most of the time it was awesome. I had a fabulous parent who tried to ensure I turned out okay. However, being home schooled things that other students would have taught me were not covered by my mom.

Here are five random points that my mom flat out failed at teaching me.

• The awesomeness of the flat iron. My mom has very fine and thin hair. I have incredibly thick curly hair that does absolutely nothing but make me look like cousin It. I would have rocked the 80s. So I wore my hair up. Always. In a big poofy pony. It wasn't until I was a sophomore that I figured out how to use a flat iron. Thanks mom for cementing my awkwardness. 
• Buying clothes that fit! I seemed to think I was about two sizes larger than I was. This may have been what led me to believe I was fat. I was not. Wear clothes that fit. Style doesn't really matter, 10 years from now you'll look back and cringe no matter what. Can you imagine my baggy clothes and my poofy hair? Yeah, explains why I was always available Friday and Saturday night doesn't it? 
• Shaving. It's a pain in the ass but do it, unless you want to be natural and stuff. Don't shave everything... you're a grown-up, it's okay to have a little something down there. But feel free to take care of those sides and keep things tidy! Neither my mom nor friends told me about this. It was awkward. I don't want to talk about it. 
• Make-up application. A lot or a little it's up to you. Just know how to use your stuff. Last month I may  have used You Tube to look up how to really do a smokey eye (besides smearing stuff all over). It was a refining moment to watch a teenager break down the steps for applying eye makeup. 
• A plethora of terms I had never been exposed to. I do not blame my mom for this one. As a mom she should not have been educating me on these things. Urbandictionary.com is great for learning definitions. Don't do this at work. 

Time spent wisely

I don’t start my fieldwork for another week and a half so I have been using my time off wisely. This morning I spent a solid two hours pinning various wedding tidbits on pinterest. I am not engaged. I do not have a boyfriend. Right now I’m deciding if this was pathetic or an excellent way to plan ahead. Since I devoted my morning to this activity I started to think why am I still single? I’m relatively smart, have normal social skills, quick-witted (AKA incredible sarcastic), have varied interests, somewhat attractive, and I don’t own a single cat. So what gives?

Top 5 reasons why I am likely still single

1. I have terrible taste in music. Really terrible. Like I am not going to tell you what songs I actually know the words to.
2. My flirtation skills consist mostly of awkward glances followed by a panicked escape.
3. I have spent the last two years studying in private study rooms.
4. I home schooled. My mom would firmly deny that this could be the reason.
5. My must-have list is too long? My list has three things on it: 1. Employed. 2. Believe in God. 3. Not a jerk.